Commentary: Why Chinese New Year KICKS Valentine’s Day’s Ass

It just so happens Chinese New Year falls on the same day as Valentines Day this year.  I was waiting on line at a grocer’s cashier when I over heard a polite cashier asking his costumer either she preferred single or double bags for her groceries.

The lady exclaimed, “DON’T EVER SAY SINGLE! USE ANOTHER TERM! I don’t like being SINGLE!”

Now THAT annoyed me to no end. I looked at her and replied, “PUH-LEEZE! There are things in life that are MUCH worse than being just single in this day in age.”

Perhaps being a whiney ass bitch doesn’t help the fact that she is STILL single.

You know what I say? FUCK VALENTINE’S DAY! Chinese New Year is where it’s at!

Being single plays a MAJOR advantage when it comes to Chinese New Year.

Here are some comparisons of the two holidays:

Valentine’s Day – You hope to get a box of chocolates, a bouquet of flowers or a nice dinner from that special someone you hope to snag.

Chinese New Year – As long as you are single, you are the recipient of the Lucky Red Envelopes filed with money.

Valentine’s Day – You get the anxiety of being the only one without a date, therefore dining alone is a real nightmare.

Chinese New Year – What? You have nowhere to go? If you have any Chinese friends (provided that you are cool/nice person), they will most likely invite you to join them for their festivities.

Valentine’s Day -  It only lasts for JUST One Day.

Chinese New Year – It’s not just one day. It is a festival that lasts for FIFTEEN days!

Valentine’s Day – A wonderful day to be married.

Chinese New Year – An excellent time to get married. However, you’ll end up being broke before you know it. According to traditional customs, married couples are the ones who have shell out money in the Lucky Red Envelopes to un-married folks, children and the elderly. BTW, it is considered to be rude and bad luck for a single person to refuse a red envelope.

See? It’s cool to be a single person after all!

Only SINGLE (and the elderly) people get money on Chinese New Year!